Try looking at yourself first when there is a problem
All the people in the world have one common problem – we all think that at any occasion the fault is not ours, rather than somebody elses. And that is probably the biggest problem of all people. Not looking at both sides of the things. And don’t even start me on the fact the no one looks at himself first. Nobody really wants to admit that he or she has made a mistake.
All of that can lead to bigger problems when you are in a relationship. Because nobody wants to be faulted all the time. And if you make your partner feel quilty there is no way to have a peaceful and happy relationship.
The first problem when in a relationship is when you are not happy with yourself. That way you always blame the other person. This is exhausting and doesn’t lead to anything good. If you feel like the person next to you has the fault for something, before you start yelling, think about it the other way around. Try to understand if the problem is not you, rather than him. And if it all coming from your head leave it or fix it for yourself, without making things difficult for both of you. Worthless scandals are something you don’t need in a happy relationship.
Choose your battles
When you talk about the communication between people choosing the battle you want to have or win is strange. But it is something very real. This is especially dedicated to all of the people who just fight for literally everything. Well, do you know what, not everything is a fight and not everything is worth fighting for.
Arguing and questioning everything is just another reason to pick up a scandal. And if someone is channeling negativism through their life, this is probably the reason why they take it out on their partner. The significant other is always there and is somebody you are intimate enough that you can freely yell at and you know he will probably be there for you after that. But how long can someone take scandalizing over everything?
When talking about choosing battles I think the best thing you can to for you and for your relationship is to try to look at all of the things that bother you and then just remove some of them. By that I mean that not everything can bother you. If you look deeply into it you will see that most of the things are not that irritating and not that bad. Who cares? That is what I would say. Letting go of some small stuff can lead to big improvement and more love. And love is all we need.
Think before acting
I know that this is one of my biggest problems. I always act on things I feel without even thinking about them for a second. I have a hot Balkan temper and it might kill me or someone around me at some point. And how cruel is it to let your own devils turn things to the bad side for someone else? It is absurd!
The worst idea possible in the world is to reflect all of you bad emotions onto somebody. And to be honest too much affection is not nice too. When you feel a strong emotion, just breathe for 3 seconds or so and act on after that. And if you are too hot to handle… give yourself 10 seconds. Count on them and this will calm you down.
Remember that this is not turning away and running from your feelings. This is the way to represent them truthfully without hurting your significant other. Because what can be worst? If you skip overreacting on a few things you will live in a more peaceful atmosphere and you will feel more loved and appreciated.
Enjoy your partner, don’t search for approval
Being with somebody should be because of the good feeling to be with someone. It should be about their company and about enjoying the other person and who you are when you are with them.
When you are in a relationship this means that the other person has already appreciated you and he is liking you and taking it up on who you are. It also means that they have kind of approved you already. Trying to make someone approve you all the time won’t help you love life. This is because trying too hard is not beautiful and it is not something you need to do. What I mean is that you should focus on feeling good WITH that other person not only making him feel god about choosing you and stuff like that.
At the end of the day the feeling you get when you just intimately sit with someone and talk or laugh at stupid things only the two of you understand is what it is all about. And making it about trying to be perfect for him is stupid and won’t do you justice. Enjoy yourself! Enjoy him! Enjoy the love feel you have. This will bring the happiness you need and lust and will improve the quality of the relationship and of your life in a way.